


i'll keep you safe

by Eorlingas



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Ridiculous Flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 00:39:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4808276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eorlingas/pseuds/Eorlingas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Darkness will be rewritten</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Into a work of fiction, you’ll see</em>
  <br/>
  <em>As you pull on every ribbon</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You'll find every secret it keeps.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>or</p>
<p> </p>
<p> Thomas Ward was a Boy Scout. No, really.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	i'll keep you safe

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an answer to the prompt "things you said when you thought i was asleep' but then it became something else entirely. Set between 3 and 4 of the '5 kisses' prompt, which you can find on my Tumblr, threedrinkamy. 
> 
> Title from song of the same name by Sleeping At Last.

"If I told you - "

"You'd have to kill me?"

Thomas shakes his head. " _Wow_. I was going to say that it wouldn't be a surprise anymore, but sure, let's skip straight to homicide."

Kara leans her head back against the headrest to smirk up at him. She wonders if it's the late hours they've spent cooped up in this car that's making her think that he looks more handsome than any one person has a right to.

(She knows it's not.)

They'd supposed to have been going to Boston, but Thomas had driven past the exit leading them in that direction half an hour ago. When Kara had pointed out this fact, Thomas had simply shook his head, a mysterious look in his eyes. She'd sighed and resigned herself to the spontaneous detour, only remarking that they'd better tell Skye and Grant that they'd be late.

Thomas' mouth had quirked up at one corner at this. "I really don't think they'll even notice the delay, to be honest."

Kara privately had to agree. Skye had been away for six weeks on a risky recon op - no one tended to see much of her or Grant after such an absence.

Kara had sent Skye a text anyway. Thomas was clearly bent on doing whatever it was that he had planned, and he didn't have _that_ look - the 'I'm gonna walk into this firefight armed with nothing but a plastic knife and a smile' one - so Kara wasn't too worried.

Except for now, because she has a sneaking suspicion that Thomas Andrew Ward, Mr. Innate Sense of Direction, Boy Scout Extraordinaire, is lost.

Which had led to her offering the use of her GPS on her phone - which he had firmly refused.

"We just have to make a left turn at the creepy old barn," he mutters as he stares out the windshield into the inky black night, lit only by the high-power beams of the headlights.

"You know, if you _have_ brought me out here to kill me, it's not going to go well for you."

"Is that a challenge, Palamas?"

Kara shrugs. "Take it as you like. I'm just stating the facts."

She is. They both know that out of the two of them, Kara's hand-to-hand combat skills are the greater. She'd offered to train him, mostly because she knew he'd resent it. And maybe she worries for him a little. Maybe.

Thomas glances over at her in the darkness, a smirk of his own just visible thanks to the light of the dashboard. "Well, then the only person in danger here is me," he murmurs. He's joking, but there's a kind of softness in his eyes as he says it that causes that weird sense of constriction in Kara's throat and she has to look away.

They drive in silence for a while and Kara's eyelids start to feel heavy as the late night hours begin to creep into early morning. She widens her eyes resolutely and takes another sip of water from the bottle in the cupholder. She will not fall asleep. She _will not_.

 -

"Kara," a soft voice at her elbow rouses her and she blinks dazedly at Thomas, crouched at the open passenger door. Every nerve in her body leaps to attention as she registers the change in her surroundings and she's reaching for her weapon before she can think about it.

"It's okay, everything's fine," he tells her in that same soft voice, resting one hand on her knee. His thumb traces almost imperceptible patterns over the denim as he continues, "We're about two hours north of Boston. It's three in the morning. You're good, I'm good - everything's good."

Kara lets out a long exhale and nods, pulling one hand through her hair as she looks around. Despite Thomas' reassurances, she's honestly shaken that she'd managed to fall into such a deep sleep. The last time she'd woken up in different circumstances than which she'd fallen asleep - Kara pulls herself firmly out of those thoughts, redirecting her focus to the man in front of her. He's watching her with a curious mixture of worry and something resembling fondness.

"Why are we in the middle of nowhere?" Kara finally asks, her voice raspy from sleep.

Thomas' eyes light up at this and he stands abruptly, removing his hand from her knee. Before she has time to miss it, however, he's reaching across her and undoing her seat buckle before pulling her gently to her feet.

"We are here to see the greatest sight the New England wilderness has to offer," he announces by way of explanation. His excitement is plain and Kara finds herself getting swept up in it in spite of herself. A smile tugs at the corners of her lips even as the cool morning air sends a shiver across her body.

Thomas must notice, because he opens the back door nearest to them and fishes around a bit before coming up with a dark, soft object that he helps her put her arms through.

"This is your jacket," she realizes aloud at its loose fit.

Thomas shrugs, hooking the zipper neatly and drawing it up all the way to just below her chin. "I couldn't find yours," he explains.

"You sure this isn't just an excuse to see me in your clothes?" she teases.

Thomas grins and gives her a slow once-over. "Could you blame me if it was?"

Kara rolls her eyes, fighting a smile of her own. She takes in his attire, a zipped-up hoodie and jeans, and frowns. "Won't you be cold?"

The look Thomas gives her is briefly illuminated by the indoor lights of the car before he reaches around her and shuts both doors. Right. She had for a second there forgotten that Thomas tends to run at temperatures similar to that of an oven.

"We have to walk a bit," he tells her apologetically and surprises her by taking her hand in his. Physical intimacy is not new between them, but this feels different somehow. This feels like the look he gave her in the car, like the night in Miami when his lips caressed her scars, like words Kara's not sure she's ready to hear.

She knows he noticed her flinch, because his grip loosens enough for her to easily break free if she wants to. And her breath catches in her throat for a moment, because he's forever doing this. Always putting the ball in her court, always conceding as much as he pushes. Always giving Kara the freedom of choice to which she so determinedly clings.

Kara hesitates only a second before grasping his hand firmly.

He's come up with a flashlight from somewhere, but still, she wonders why she can see his smile so clearly in the darkness and glances upwards, only to let out a soft intake of breath.

Thomas squeezes her hand. "Pretty cool, huh?"

Kara doesn't answer. Being stationed mostly in cities, she hasn't seen this many stars in months. She drinks in the sight the way a parched man would water after wandering in the desert for days.

She doesn't want to take her eyes off of them, but it's a bit difficult to walk at the same time, so it's with great reluctance that she tears them away.

"It's close?" she asks him hopefully, her eagerness getting the better of her patience.

He chuckles, pleased with her enthusiasm. "Provided we don't run into any wildlife, yeah."

Kara looks at him quickly to assess the sincerity of the statement. Thomas appears totally at ease. "What kind of wildlife?"

He shrugs. "The usual. Bats, raccoons, bears.."

"Wolves?" Thomas shakes his head. "They were driven out of this area more than a century ago." He pauses to let her absorb this information before continuing. "It's too bad. I've always kinda liked wolves."

She rolls her eyes a little at this. "Well, do you have a plan if we encounter any predators that _do_ still inhabit the area?"

"Was bear-wrestling not part of the curriculum at SHIELD Academy?"

"An unfortunate gap in our education."

"Shameful. Well, you're armed, right?"

"Thomas - "

"I'm kidding! Mostly," he amends. "Bear spray is actually more effective than bullets most of the time. But anyway, we should be loud enough to alert any that might be around."

When Kara considers his words in silence, he chuckles. "And right after I say that, you're quiet."

Kara shrugs. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Maybe you really _were_ a Boy Scout after all."

Thomas huffs in minor indignation. "Of course I was."

"Hey, it wouldn't be the first time you were full of shit," she teases, bumping his shoulder with her own.

Thomas laughs and lets go of her hand to wrap an arm around her shoulders and bring her closer, brushing the top of her head with a kiss. "Probably won't be the last, either," he concedes, and she derives a slightly worrying level of satisfaction from the idea.

"Here we go," he announces suddenly, quickening the pace as they come within sight of their intended target.

Kara blinks. "You brought me out here to see a rock?"

"It's not _just_ a rock."

"A really big rock, then," she amends, eying the specimen in question with no small degree of skepticism.

"Trust me?" His tone remains light but Kara doesn't miss the hopeful lilt, and seriously? How can he think otherwise at this point?

"Would I let you lead me into the wilderness if I didn't?" she returns just as playfully, but gives his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Maybe _you're_ plotting to kill _me_ ," Thomas suggests, leading her up the slope.

"Yep, that's it," she agrees, bracing herself with one hand on his arm as they navigate the bumpy terrain.

"Think I could convince you to spare me?"

"Probably wouldn't hurt you to try."

"I think I'd like to." His voice is low and full of delightful promises, but she can't exactly take him up on them in their current location, Kara notes with regret.

"Maybe later, Grizzly Adams," she laughs.

He pauses. "I'm actually related to him, you know."

"Yeah?" she asks, surprised.

"On my mother's side." His voice takes on that same hard, brisk quality it always does when he's forced to talk about his family. But this time he'd brought it up all on his own.

Kara weighs the moment carefully. "Well, I guess that explains the beard," she finally cracks with a wry smile.

And that seems to have been the right thing to say, because Thomas laughs loudly and pulls her in, leaning down to rub his scratchy jaw against her cheek.

"Ugh." She pushes him away half-heartedly, smiling all the while.

"You like it."

She does. But she's given him enough concessions for one evening. A woman has to have principles.

They slow down as they reach the summit and Kara looks about her carefully.

"Still a rock," she announces at last.

Thomas doesn't appear to be bothered by her assessment. "Be patient," he murmurs, tugging her down to a sitting position beside him.

The stone is cold beneath her and Kara shifts closer to his warmth without thinking. Honestly, Thomas basically radiates heat. She almost says as much, but she can imagine the field-day he'd have with that one.

He adjusts them both so that she's seated between his legs with her back resting against his chest, his knees bent and feet braced against the ground so as to support their combined weight. His arms encircle her just loosely enough to be comfortable, but just tight enough to make Kara feel safer than she has in longer than she can remember.

The thought is more than a little startling. The sensation of safety is one that Kara had thought she'd surrendered long before her kidnapping at the hands of Hydra. After that, she'd become familiar with the ever-present hum of terror in her veins, growing accustomed to its seemingly random changes in pitch. Most days it keeps to a low roar, but there were still the nights, far too often, when she wakes up to a thousand sirens going off in her body.

No. Feeling safe isn't a luxury Kara Palamas experiences.

(Except when she does. When she's exactly as she is now.)

Kara doesn't let the thought settle into her bones the way it wants to. Because trusting her partner, _sleeping with him_ , even, doesn't have the implications that this deep assurance of security in his embrace has.

"How did you find this place, anyway?" The words fall out of her mouth in a rush, but if Thomas notices, he doesn't comment. Instead he's silent for a long moment before she hears him swallow.

"I really was a Boy Scout, you know," he begins finally. "My family... They had a certain image to maintain. So it's surprising, looking back, that they'd put their son in something so plebeian." The edge of bitterness has crept back into his voice and his shoulders shrug beneath her. "But I remember something about a campaign, about being 'accessible'. Christian and Grant were too old, Rosie was too - " His voice catches a little before he coughs briskly. "So into Boy Scouts I went."

"I hated it at first. Hated being 'the Ward boy' with all these expectations to perform when I knew no one really gave a damn about me." He pauses. "Then I went on my first campout. I was terrified. I still hadn't made any friends, and Christian had taken it upon himself to tell me some scary story. For the first time in my life, I couldn't wait to go home."

Kara instinctively nestles a little closer into the crook of his neck and Thomas readily rests his head on top of hers as he continues. "To this day I don't know how I got up the courage to get up and go out of the tent to use the bathroom. I guess my fear of the humiliation of bed-wetting was stronger than my fear of bears and ghosts. We were supposed to wake up our tent leader to go with us, but I didn't dare. I remember going out and..." He exhales and Kara feels it deep in her chest. "It was a night like this. More stars than I'd ever seen before. I'd never felt so small, but for the first time, it didn't feel like a bad thing. I wasn't afraid. I felt..."

"Safe," Kara finishes in a whisper and he nods against her hair.

"After that, the campouts were Godsends. I actually started to like Boy Scouts. Of course, Mother and Father pulled me out shortly after. A Ward had better uses of his time," he intones flatly. There's another pause before he says, "The first time I ran away, I tried to go back to the campground. I ended up here instead."

Kara is quiet as she absorbs this piece of Thomas's history. He's spoken of his family before, in passing, in bitter conversation with Grant. This is far more. This is vulnerability. This is a gift, in its own broken way.

Kara tilts her head upwards and presses a soft kiss to his nearest point, which happens to be the underside of his jaw.

"Thank you," she says at last, trying to convey all that she means in such simple words. He seems to understand, because he tightens his embrace.

"You know what they didn't teach us in Boy Scouts?" And she can hear his considerable effort to lighten the tone, but she plays along, humming questioningly. "Constellations. I mean, I know the Big Dipper and Orion's belt and the upside-down lady - "

"Cassiopeia?"

"Sure. And there's a bear, right?"

"Two. Ursa Major and Ursa Minor."

He breathes a laugh that tickles the side of her face."Big Bear and Little Bear?"

"Right." She points them out, grabbing his hand to trace along with her. "The Big Dipper is actually part of the tail and the backside of Ursa Major. And if you follow the outer edge of the bowl, you'll find the North Star." She twists accordingly. "And there's Ursa Minor."

"Any wolves?"

Kara considers. "Lupus, but we're too far north to see it. There's a lion, though."

They go on in this way, mapping ancient shapes in the sky as the mythology expert in Kara takes over and she weaves tales of warriors, beasts, jealous wives and devoted brothers. Thomas is a rapt listener and his wonder is contagious.

Their conversation fades as the stars do, eclipsed by the greater light that will soon break over the horizon. Kara can start to pick out details of their surroundings in the dawn. She sees now that the rock is more of a hill overlooking a wide and gently sloping valley. She can tell that they're going to have a spectacular view of the approaching sunrise.

Yet it's her immediate surroundings in which she finds herself having the most interest - in the strength of the arms that encircle her, in the steady rise and fall of his chest, perfectly in time with her own. He's quieter than she's ever experienced him being while conscious.

Kara shifts, leaning away a bit and tilting her face so that she can see his. She studies his profile for a moment before he blinks down at her and gives her a soft, lazy smile. "Hi."

"Hi," she echoes, feeling an answering grin form.

Thomas nods towards the horizon, eyes never leaving her face. "I never thought I'd say this, but the view is that way." 

She can't quite bring herself to roll her eyes at this characteristic display of ego. Because for all his joking arrogance, he's a breathtaking sight on his own. The tension he always carries seems to have drained from his body, leaving his features relaxed and his edges softened. He's at peace, she realizes, and this time she allows the notion to resonate within her, warmth spreading from her core and unfurling in her limbs.

Kara turns back to face the rising sun, now painting the world with the soft hues of morning. She takes a breath.

In this moment, they're as safe as they'll ever be. It may not be much to some people, but for Kara and Thomas, she knows it's everything.


End file.
